Sometimes, “I LOVE YOU” also means, I’ll hold you responsible and accountable for your decisions, actions, words, thoughts, and reactions. I’ll respect you. I will still have boundaries in place to protect the both of us. I will listen and hear you out but, I will not diminish, silence, or hold back around you when things get tough, need to be said, or done. And, that’s okay.
I stopped searching and you found me. Living my life, you stopped me in my tracks. You smiled and I witnessed the sun. I laughed and your heart skipped a beat. You asked for my number and we’ve been talking ever since. You got my attention, now…what are you about to do with it?
Darling, I’m going to hype up my besties! I am so damn proud of them, you have no idea! They are out here busting their behinds, breaking cycles, building empires, getting their education, making content, working endlessly, grinding against the grain, hustling hard to make their goals and dreams a reality! Encouragement, Praise, Being Present, and Supporting them is the bare minimum I could do. Lock in! Tune in! Greatness is happening! Watch and be amazed!
We were in the moment. A pleasurable haze. Where the atmosphere was electric and the tension was thick enough to have you gasping. I did as my hands gripped while your body glided. Stars in our eyes, Butterflies in our stomachs praying for release. A sudden chill down my spine and a low dip, made our voices cry out in a melodic harmony for heavens to hear, remembering our names. We came crashing down back to earth, hit by reality after our favorite song ended at karaoke…
I just want to give love and learn how to recieve love, without shying away from it. I just want to give compliments and recieve compliments, without responding with a negative countered comment to disagree. I just want to have a conversation with a person and share my heart, without downplaying my quirks, diminishing my light, and hiding my powerful flame that lingers for my passions…so, I don’t make anyone else uncomfortable. I just want to be me. The real, the amazing, me.
I was used to you always being by my side. There was something about the way we could talk for hours about our interests while also wilding out about the latest gossip in town. You were a piece of me that held a sacred part of my heart. But, when time passed by and life evolved, we did also. We grew up. We drifted - due to feelings, due to seasons, due to inevitable change. What used to complete us, now seemed to also make us stagnant. So, we let go but, I still held on to hope about you, love;
Sometimes, I disappear because of my need to recharge, regroup, and rethink things. It’s not a reflection of you or anything we’ve done or said. It’s just a part of who I am. I won’t apologize for being someone who doesn’t blindly rush or jump into things. Beloved, my silence and absence are more than just retreating. It’s me; replenishing, refocusing, reestablishing, recreating, rebuilding, remembering, reminding, repositioning, recognizing and rebirthing, who I am, accordingly.
Darling, If you never give it a chance and you never try, how would you know if it is or isn’t for you? Stop allowing fear to dictate what you are and are not allowed to do or how you are or are not supposed to feel. Beloved, you are in control. You set the pace, you pick your options, you choose what you’ll allow/not allow, like/dislike, love/hate, do/won’t do, be/not be, go/not go, feel/not feel; YOU! Nobody else, but YOU! Now…Tell me, what is it? What is fear holding you back from?
Sometimes, I just want to be with you in silence. Observe you in the moment. Embrace your silent quirks. Fall in love with your quiet presence. Gush over my beloved crush.
Speak, but don’t say a word. May your heart rely what your mouth won’t. Pounding, I pray that closed door will bless you. May your stomach be able to digest the news that has left you speechless. Open, I can not fathom the lies your mind has you believe. May your spirit find freedom in the truth that you long to hear. Something worth living for, Anything worth dying for. May your longevity keep you here for as long as you can experience this life fully. Worthy, I’ll repeat this prayer for you…
Beloved, I pray your heart will always remain golden and will continue to healthily beat the rhythm of love. I pray your mind is rewired to function as it supposed to and your trauma is erased from your memory for good. I pray your spirit continues to lead you into beautiful encounters and guide you through those experiences you’re just not sure of. I pray you’ll never forget I’m always praying for you and that I love you, even when you’re uncertain of it. Because I do, I LOVE YOU.
You’re like:
Cocoa butter to my sun-kissed skin.
A testament to Happily ever after tales,
Between woman and man, I am
In love with you and the warmth you bring, Eve.
Basking in your bliss and passionate moments of,
Forever and eternally, Adam.
Bonded over r&b and poetry.
Tyrone doesn’t call me no more.
And Alicia better not know your name, as I
Am falling, breaking, becoming.
I’m saying, this is serious - a new beginning.
Eden, we together, us;
Church, we submit to what’s found,
God, I love you.