See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

I won’t cry forever but, perhaps just for now. I got to wash away the pain and remove these stains of regret. No, I am not a victim. Honestly, I am not. I am simply a person learning the rules of how to maintain life and protect a delicate heart.

I probably should’ve loved you better. But, at that moment, I didn’t know what love was. Love used to be common courtesy and mutual respect. I didn’t realize that there was so much more to it than that. So, I apologize for loving you wrong. For stealing such a valuable heart but not understanding its proper function, nevertheless, it’s worth. For shattering something so precious to me and making an even bigger mess of things trying to fix what I’d broken. I never meant to cause you any harm or pain. I was only trying to love you to the best of my ability. At that moment, that meant that I’d show up when you called and texted to make sure you were okay if you didn’t. I’d tell jokes to make you laugh and say the darnest things to make you smile for me. I’d sit patiently waiting for your arrival and prepare for your departure every day. I’d tell you everything I like about you and pray about everything else that bothers me. And, even though you didn’t like it…I’d still do all the things you deemed stupid, creepy, and weird because that’s me being me…a part of me you hate to love but can’t help but be intrigued. Kind of like your love for video games, obsession with lofi music, and unique taste for steak. So, I apologize for my shortcomings. For walking away while we were in the middle of becoming. I’m sorry for loving you wrong; I think I learned from my mistake, thankfully. I know now it wasn’t that I didn’t know what or how to love. It was simply I didn’t know how to showcase it the way that you expected. I only knew how to show up and do it how I was taught - respectfully, devoted to my person while showing up regardless of the cause. But I guess that wasn’t enough…

Darling, stay vigilant! Stay alert. Don’t you dare get distracted or allow yourself to be rocked to sleep. Get up! Prepare yourself for what’s about to occur. Something is happening in plain sight, but the little things are blinding you. Wake up! Wake up before it’s too late!

You can give the world to a person. However, if they’ve never learned the value of anything…How will they be able to cherish it for what it’s worth?

Darling, how are you doing today? Don’t hold back your feelings or hold in your words. Let it out. Identify your emotions and thought process, beloved.

It’s ok for rain to pour from the windows of your soul - as you dwell alone, reminiscing about the olden days - all of the things made you smile and everything you seem to try so hard to forget about. It’s ok to regret as long as you know - there’s still time to do things over…

Dare I say the words I leave unspoken? The thoughts that linger and the rebuttals rehearsed. The analyzed memories and the clarity from revelations. The pain felt and the sorrow I numb with smiles. Can I talk about it? I doubt it but, my rage and hunger leaves me wondering often.

Darling, who made you terrified to feel and experience life? How long have you been waiting to become perfect? And anticipating being good enough? When was the last time you enjoyed living instead of just surviving? Why do you fear beginnings and hate ending what never was, love?

I’m in need of something. I’m not sure exactly what it is. But there’s a craving for it—a need to experience what it could bring. There’s a desire for it. It’s so close but still so far away. I can feel it. I can sense it. I can hear it. I’m just not sure of its name. It is everything I need in the moment and everything I want in the future. It is everything I could ask for, but none of the things I thought were vital. I changed from being in its presence to just wanting to be engulfed by it entirely. It doesn’t make sense to most, but to me, I finally understand. A healthy love will scare you, have you run for the hills, and leave you to examine yourself before figuring out your need to return. This is an experience worth losing yourself and your pride for. I’m just happy to learn that without complications and repercussions.

I want to know you. Not simply the things you show off to the world but, beyond and beneath it. I want to know those other moments you don’t believe are deemed worthy of sharing. From your fondest dream, to your favorite song, to the tears you cry, the words you cuss, and the reactions that leave you razzeled ready to go to war. I want to know them all.